DOCTOR Who producers have once again reminded the show’s ardent fans that it is actually for children.
Fans are concerned that as a time lord from Gallifrey, the Doctor is now far beyond his or her allotted 12 regenerations and therefore the show should already have ended.
They now fear the Doctor Who universe could collapse in on itself, destroying everything including Star Wars and Battlestar Galactica.
But a BBC spokesman said: “How’s about this? We’ve just decided that The Doctor can fire Angel Delight from his or her fingertips and is sexually attracted to suspension bridges. How did we do that? Because we’re making it up as we go along.
“If you watch any third-rate comedian, he will pretend to like Knight Rider and Bazooka Joe bubblegum before talking about watching Doctor Who from behind the sofa as a child. As… a… child.”
The spokesman added: “We’re getting really sick of having to discuss Tardis engineering with 35 year-old men who smell like damp sandwiches.”