Ed Sheeran trapped in Westeros

ED Sheeran is now a Game of Thrones character and unable to return to the real world, the show’s producers have confirmed.

The pop star, who appeared in a cameo in yesterday’s episode, has been press-ganged into Queen Cersei’s army and is expected to lose his life in battle within the next six weeks.

Fellow soldier Joe Turner said: “He tells everyone who’ll listen that he’s a famous ‘pop star’ who knows ‘Taylor Swift’, whoever that is, but none of it means bugger all to us and our ugly, doomed lives.

“Just look at him. He’s no success. He’s a footsoldier at best, and if we get to know him at all it’s only to make it more poignant when he’s pointlessly slaughtered in another internecine war.”

Sheeran said: “I know we’re cold, but don’t burn my guitar. Please don’t burn my – you burned my guitar.

“That was my guitar.”