THE whole of the UK is performing exuberant choreographed dance routines in the streets to number one record Uptown Funk.Like this, except pissing down
The countrys population left their dwellings as one this morning and boogied their way to work wearing bright primary-coloured suits and dresses, weaving between bins and bus-stops as they shook their stuff to the beat.
Even the traffic sped up, slowed and flashed its lights along to the Mark Ronson and Bruno Mars single, accompanying the frenzied brass stabs of the chorus with their horns.
Martin Bishop, from Hatfield, said: I stepped out of the house and, as if I were Morris Day from The Time, pirouetted on my doorstep to slam it closed and commenced strutting down the street.
Then I noticed I was exactly in time with every one of my neighbours, each of whom had a perfectly synchronised version of Uptown Funk in their own heads.
I love it when theres a big song like this. It reminds me of the summer of 2013, when me and all the lads in the office performed co-ordinated sexual harassment to Blurred Lines.
The craze covered 99.8 per cent of the country, with Kings Lynn, Norfolk, the sole exception, where they danced to Uptown Girl by Billy Joel because they got confused.