HAVE you popped on Modern Life Is Rubbish thinking it’s a fairly recent release? You’re very wrong. Here are some other albums that will make you feel ancient:
Blur: Modern Life Is Rubbish
This sounded so fresh and exciting when it came out, and still does, so you’re convinced it was released nine years ago at the most. Until you see a photo of the newly reformed Blur, and they’ve become portly, craggy 55-year-olds. How the f**k has that happened? You daren’t look in the mirror, in case it’s happened to you too.
Nirvana: In Utero
As a Gen-Xer, Nirvana is the band that most represents your generation, and they’re still incredibly relevant today. Contemporary even. You mention how much you love this album to your Gen Z child who gives you a withering look and sarcastically replies ‘OK, Boomer’, which crushes your spirit completely.
Take That: Everything Changes
When this came out you sneered at your parents for listening to old-fashioned shit from 30 years ago, like Paul McCartney and Wings. Now you’re the one pining for your lost youth, and, to adult insult to injury, you’ve realised that Band On The Run wasn’t actually that bad, whereas Pray has aged pretty badly, just like your adolescent crush Mark Owen.
Haddaway: The Album
You know for a fact that this album isn’t that long in the tooth, because they play What Is Love at the club you go to once a month with your mates from school. It’s such a banger, it can’t be from the olden days. However, taking a closer look at your friend’s once youthful face, and the way it has collapsed, sagged and wrinkled, you begin to realise why the club night is advertised as spinning ‘ultra-vintage classics’.
Snoop Doggy Dogg: Doggystyle
Nope, it’s not possible that this came out 30 years ago. You know because you used to listen to it while you smoked massive blunts, ate Quavers and played video games until 3am every night. You’re still doing that now, and there’s no way you’ve wasted three decades of your life. Is there? Oh f**k.