SINGING in public is a real minefield, so it’s best to stick to the classics. But do you actually know the words? Here are five songs you could have sworn you had down off by heart:
Sweet Caroline by Neil Diamond
This song has inexplicably become a firm favourite with English football fans, yet nobody knows the words aside from the chorus. Even the ‘hands touching hands’ bit is tricky to get right. Luckily the crowd will soon move onto Three Lions, the lyrics of which have been burned onto your brain after nearly three decades of dreary repetition.
The National Anthem
Almost as tedious and tuneless as Three Lions is the National Anthem, a song you must have heard several thousand times and yet still only recall one single line of. The only people who really need to know the words are footballers and rugby players, and even they look like they’re making it up as they go along.
Anything by ABBA
You insist you don’t need the lyrics on screen at the karaoke bar, as you know every single ABBA song off by heart. However, when the ABBA medley megamix kicks off, you realise you actually know f**k all and instead find yourself randomly shouting out ‘…something something WATERLOO!’ several seconds behind the music.
You were in the crowd at Glastonbury this year, impatiently waiting for Sir Paul to crack into Hey Jude so you could show your mates what an ardent fan you are by singing along, totally word perfect. Unfortunately apart from the ‘Hey Jude’ at the very beginning and the repeated ‘Na, na, na, na, na, na, naaaaa’ at the very end, you didn’t know any, and you looked like a bellend.
Auld Lang Syne
Given that you sing this every New Year without fail, it’s no wonder you think you know the words. But the truth is that after the opening ‘Should old acquaintance be forgot’ no ones know anything, and it immediately falls into loud, drunken la-ing before tailing off after 30 seconds as everyone cracks open another drink and snogs their best friend’s partner instead.