THE Football Manager games depict fictional events with no bearing on reality, it has been confirmed.
Fan of the sports simulation have been warned to stop talking about Matias Kranevitter and Luka Jovic as if they know them, because that is not rational.
Psychologist Mary Fisher said: “After confirming that the person they are talking to has a working knowledge of football, a Football Manager fan launches into a blow-by-blow account of a fictional 15-year managerial career, demonstrating an unhealthily encyclopaedic knowledge of players they wouldn’t recognise in the street.
“You’re not actually headed to the Allianz Arena this weekend, you’re going to be sitting in your living room with the curtains drawn yelling at stick men on your laptop.”
Football Manager fan Julian Cooke said: “I’ll never forget the day I won the Europa League, there wasn’t a dry eye in the house until my girlfriend yanked out the power cord.
“That’s why I was a little put out when Gareth Bale turned me away from his birthday party last year, it was as if he didn’t remember the glorious two years we spent together at Real Madrid.”