SIR David Attenborough said 'fuck this' last night after Strictly Come Dancing became the most popular television programme in the world.
The veteran documentary maker slumped in his chair with his head in his hands, sobbing quietly before walking to the lavatory and throwing up for half an hour.
Sir David added: "We spent four years developing a camera we could put inside a hummingbird's egg so you could actually witness the development of those amazing wings.
"We then waited for the bird to hatch and grow and then filmed it at such close range you could see the expression on its face.
"But no, you're right. How tedious. If only we'd trained the little fucker to dance."
The BBC has now sold the 'Strictly' format to 34 countries, occasionally throwing-in a free VHS video of Life on Earth.
A spokesman said: "The groundbreaking thing about Strictly Come Dancing is that we take people you would not normally associate with dancing and then we film them dancing.
"Often we do have to remind the viewer who the celebrity is so they realise the celebrity would not normally be dancing. But then we can say 'wow, look at that bloke off the news – he's dancing!'"
Sir David said: "Fuck, and I might add, this."