Game of Thrones fans hooked on ‘milk of the poppy’

GAME of Thrones fans who have tried the ‘milk of the poppy’ frequently plugged on the series have proclaimed themselves to be completely hooked. 

The drug, administered to anyone suffering injuries on the show, has been made available to Thrones superfans who have hailed it as the best tie-in yet. 

Nathan Muir of Oxford said: “The books are alright, and I’ve got the Jon Snow and Margaery Tyrell bobbleheads, but this stuff really transports you to a different universe. 

“It’s not officially hit retail yet – I’m guessing they’ll launch it at Comic-Con – but my guy can get it and it absolutely blows you away. 

“Sometimes I’m in the winter world beyond the Wall, the White Walkers stalking through the frozen wastes, but other times I’m far south in the sun-baked lands of Daenerys and her fiery dragons. 

“Other times though it’s like being trapped below decks on a long sea journey during a boring episode, with only that fat Sam for company and the ad break never comes.”

Dealer Stephen Malley said: “I also have some of Gandalf’s special pipe-weed from Lord of the Rings. Perfect for smoke rings.” 

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Nobody knows what ‘digital’ supposed to mean

MEDIA workers talking about ‘digital’ do not have the slightest clue what it is, according to new research.

Researchers found that although ‘digital’ is widely accepted to be the future, nobody knows what the word means or whether it is just bullshit.

Professor Henry Brubaker of the Institute for Studies said: “I had a digital watch when I was 11. Is that somehow the shape of things to come?

“Nobody could explain to us what ‘digital’ means. It’s almost as if people who work in the media talk a load of bollocks.”

Internet trend analyst Nikki Hollis said: “Going forward it’s all about digital. If you’ve got a company I’d definitely advise you to start doing digital things in a digital way, and just generally being digital.

“I cannot stress enough that digital is here to stay, although I can’t be any more specific about that.

“Next week I’m doing a talk  at ‘Digitalcon ’16: Let’s Get Digital’, they’re paying me three grand.”

Company director Tom Booker has just launched a ‘digital strategy’ that he doesn’t understand. He said: “I just shouted at everyone and said ‘we need more fucking digital’.

“Then I went back in my office and looked up ‘digital’ on the internet. No joy.”