Friday, 5th June 2020

Genesis reform to play to older brothers who like that sh*t

PROG-ROCK giants Genesis have reformed to play to thousands of older brothers who take music very seriously. 

The brothers, who were always booming 23-minute pretentious song suites from the stereos in their nasty-smelling bedrooms, have all done well enough in their boring careers to buy the very expensive tickets.

Younger sibling Eleanor Shaw said: “The minute I saw the news I knew exactly who’d be in the audience. Loads of bald IT engineers who read Philip K Dick books and nod thoughtfully while they play their vinyl.

“I hope Genesis include a bit where they and the audience moan about pop music being ephemeral rubbish for girls, because I know for sure that’s what their fans enjoy doing.

“Imagine them all in the O2, rolling their fussy joints on gatefold sleeves and not clapping because they don’t want to miss the nuances of the f**king drum solo. Eurgh.”

Older brother Andrew Shaw said: “Of course, Ellie’s confusing the Peter Gabriel Genesis with the later Phil Collins incarnation of the band.

“She really doesn’t know anything about music. And she’s still not allowed to use my record player.”