Gerard Butler confirmed as Wonder Woman

THE screen role of Wonder Woman has gone to 300 star Gerard Butler.

Discussing his part in the forthcoming Batman vs Superman, Butler said: “There’s nothing in the small print that says Wonder Woman has to have a vagina. It’s not like Batman’s an actual bat.

“I’m proud to live in a tolerant society where we can accept a heroine with hairy shoulders.”

However fan Tom Booker said: “I hate this sort of gimmicky and deliberately controversial re-imagining of characters.

“It makes the concept of superheroes seem inherently ridiculous and childish, rather than the deadly serious and entirely appropriate obsession of middle-aged men that it so obviously is.

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Road worker sick of being the designated shoveller

HIGHWAYS operative Tom Logan is angry that he always has to use the shovel while his team stands around watching him.

34-year-old Logan said: “We all know council regulations stipulate there can be only one shovel per working party.

“However I would really prefer it if we could pass the shovel around the group at hourly intervals, so that I could spend some time leaning on machinery and smoking fags like everyone else.”

However Logan’s colleague Stephen Malley said: “It is an honour to wield the shovel, I can’t believe how ungrateful he’s being.

“Also the standing around thing is surprisingly hard, it requires great mental focus.”