COMMENTS about how rubbish Glastonbury is wore thin 30 minutes after tickets went on sale, it has been confirmed.Not jaded
Smartarses flooded the internet shortly after 9am yesterday to tell people buying tickets what gullible idiots they all were.
Miserable bastard Wayne Hayes said: I got to use the word ‘trustafarian’ which is quite a result as that’s usually the first to go in the Glastonbury comment stampede.
I’ve insulted people who go to Glastonbury ever since I was a teenager so I’d be devastated if I missed out and had to make do with moaning about the quality of beer at the Reading Festival instead.
Abusing Glastonbury attendees has grown immensely since its humble beginnings in 1970 when eight people shouted ‘wanker’ over a dry stone wall at a man in a Hawkwind t-shirt.
It is estimated that almost half a million bitter nostalgia addicts will miss out on making snarky online comments this year, having to make do with picking holes in festivities while watching the live BBC broadcast.
Hayes said: Its not about which bands are playing, we know theyre all going to be shit, it’s the excitement of bitching about young people getting wasted and humping each other.