Saturday, 4th April 2020

Hollywood all cleaned up after the only man who did this stuff convicted

HOLLYWOOD has pronounced itself free of all abuses of power after the only man who ever abused his power was jailed. 

Harvey Weinstein, convicted yesterday, was the sole man in the entire movie business who used his position in a criminal manner and now he has been locked up, everyone is safe again.

Leading Hollywood agent Denys Finch Hatton said: “The era of the casting couch, which began with Weinstein but used a term which pre-dates him by about 65 years, is now over.

“None of the rest of Hollywood’s powerful men have ever done anything terrible like this, as the actresses they date who are 30 years younger will affirm.

“Like a killer from a quiet suburb, Weinstein was a total aberration who none of us knew about and all of us were shocked by. Now he’s gone, nothing like that will ever happen again.

“Any young, hopeful, beautiful actresses – or indeed actors – can rest assured Los Angeles is a safe space that respects their boundaries.”

He added: “And if you don’t believe me, just watch the movie we’re going to make exonerating ourselves completely. Open casting next week.”