Tuesday, 4th August 2020

Illegal rave at Chequers later

WHATSAPP messages racing around the country are advertising an illegal rave at Chequers, the country home of the prime minister, this evening. 

The rave at the Buckinghamshire stately home, expected to attract thousands of young people, is being organised by a shadowy figure known only as ‘DJ World King’ who claims ‘the feds know to stay away fam’.

James Bates, 22, said: “No more gathering on a grubby patch of waste ground near Manchester. This party is gonna be f**kin’ lit.

“Apparently it’s not actually the guy’s house but he gets to use it and he’s sent his missus away for the weekend so we’ve got the whole 1,500 acres to party in.

“The WhatsApp says to forward it to ‘hot girls’ and ‘anyone who got tha blow’ which I had to check with my dad and apparently means coke.

“My mate Jen said ‘What about coronavirus?’ and the house guy just replied ‘f**kin’ had it already mate’. Seems to be an absolute legend.”