PEOPLE relishing the ‘Brangelina’ divorce have confirmed that it is indeed a shame for the kids.
After it emerged that the world’s most famous couple were to divorce, everyone said it was important to think of their young family before diving into the resulting cesspool of salacious tittle-tattle.
Mary Fisher said: “After reading several dozen articles about the sex, drugs and something about a bottle of Billy Bob Thornton’s blood that I don’t even understand, I really think it’s a shame about the kids.
“I just don’t want you to think I’m just loving this because that would all be tawdry and sleazy. I’m a nice person and I care about children.
“Now I need to get back to working out whose fault it is. Blame must be assigned, it’s part of the healing process.”
Office administrator Nikki Hollis said: “This is the most excitement I’ve had all year, it’s way more dramatic that anything that has actually happened to me in my own life.
“It’s a shame for the kids though, even if they were just adopted or whatever I still sympathise with the real-life victims of what is essentially quite a sad thing.
“But on the other hand, it’s an excuse to buy an actual print magazine for something other than the free flip-flops.”