Jeremy Kyle Rapped For Showing A Scotsman

THE Jeremy Kyle show has been censured by the television watchdog Ofcom for broadcasting a Scotsman during a daytime programme. 

The regulator ruled the ITV show was in clear breach of the broadcasting code which places severe restrictions on the use of live Scots.

An Ofcom spokesman said: "These people can only be shown on screen if there is a valid editorial reason, and they are accompanied by a solicitor or their words are read by an actor.

"In the space of 20 seconds we heard four 'fuds', an 'erse', at least two 'keechs', and one 'gerrit right up ye, ya fuckin' shitebag'."

He added: "There were also five 'boabies', a 'basturt', three 'chebs', a 'bam', two 'fannybawz' and a 'come aheid ya fuckin' dobber'. We believe much of it may be offensive."

A spokesman for ITV said the show's Manchester-based staff had mistakenly invited the Scotsman onto the programme thinking he was either Bulgarian or mentally retarded.

He apologised for any bad language, but pointed out that the show would have escaped censure if it had not been for a single complaint 'from some c*nt in Aberdeen'.

Sign up now to get
The Daily Mash
free Headlines email – every weekday

Your Astrological Week Ahead

Leo (23 JUL-22 AUG)

Looks are important, but they aren't everything. What's on the inside matters just as much, if not more so. You can forgive a lot for a huge one.

Virgo (23 AUG-22 SEP)

Do a friend a favour with no strings attached, but hold out for payment if they insist on being tied up

Libra (23 SEP-23 OCT)

An impromptu gathering of friends this evening makes for a lovely treat. Do you mind! Your nose is smearing the window.

Scorpio (24 OCT-21 NOV)

It's time to take a look at your finances and see where you stand. Beachy Head?

Sagittarius (22 NOV-21 DEC)

You've had so many things on your mind lately that it's starting to take a toll. Give yourself some much needed masturbation.

Capricorn (22 DEC-19 JAN)

Your partner has been forgetful lately, and sometimes hardly seems to know if you are around. Instead of getting resentful, use it as an opportunity to sleep around more.

Aquarius (20 JAN-19 FEB)

Relationships are never straightforward. Especially with you. You fucking nutter

Pisces (20 FEB-20 MAR)

If everyone at work is driving you crazy take an assault rifle to the office and gun them down. Elsewhere this week, Venus is promising you quite a whirl around the dance floor!

Aries (21 MAR-19 APR)

An insightful friend will have the solution to a problem that's been nagging you for quite some time now. Shame you don’t have one.

Taurus (April 20-May 20)

Start planning now to make the coming weekend fun and not just another two days of crushing loneliness like all the others.

Gemini (21 MAY-20 JUN)

If work stress has you feeling burnt out and close to a nervous breakdown, consider taking up yoga. That will sort everything out.