Friday, 14th May 2021

Line of Duty to conclude with right load of bollocks

THE sixth series of Line of Duty is to conclude tonight with a right load of nonsensical double-crossing conspiracy bollocks. 

The finale will see Ted turn out to be Jo’s mole, Thurwell to have faked his own death, Kate sending a secret message in semaphore with her nail art and H to be Patricia’s evil multiple-personality psychic identical conjoined twin.

Former fan Joanna Kramer said: “Like any long-running thriller that asks more questions than it can answer, the conclusion will be an absolute car crash.

“Everyone will be lying to everyone else, nobody will be who they seemed, minor characters from earlier series will turn out to be alive and pulling the strings, and Bran will be made king. Oh, hang on. That’s another show.

“It’s all about the journey in programmes like this, and the journey always ends with the writer admitting he lost the thread somewhere in series three and has been piecing it together from fan theory sites ever since.

“In reality what happens is police investigate police, police find copious evidence of police corruption, police cover it up and receive big pension. But that’s never going to get 10 million viewers on a Sunday night.”