Man finally admits to fondness for Sting

A MAN has decided to stop hiding his true musical orientation and tell everyone he likes Sting.

Sting’s new tour prompted Tom Logan to openly admit to liking him, despite hostility from people who think everything he did after The Police is bad and wrong.

Office worker Logan said: “People may not agree with it, they may think it’s strange or perverted, but the truth is – I like Sting.

“For years I pretended to like good music but secretly I wanted to listen to If You Love Somebody, Set Them Free sung by Sting in his strange Jamaican accent.

“Now I’m out of the closet I’m going to start meeting other Sting fans so I can listen to The Dream of the Blue Turtles without people telling me to shit off.”

Friend Nikki Hollis said: “What Tom’s done is incredibly brave. I’m sure he’ll be a lot happier now, or at least as happy as you can be when you listen to Sting.”

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Woman who claims to love classical music only knows Game of Thrones theme

A WOMAN who calls herself a big fan of classical music only knows the Game of Thrones theme tune, it has emerged.

Joanna Kramer, from Colchester, claims to have ‘really got into classical music’ five years ago, when she first started watching the HBO show.

She said: “Classical music is so evocative. Listening to it conjures up images of nudity and dragons, and provokes powerful emotions, like guilt at illegally downloading stuff.

“A piece of classical music can tell a complex story, such as, for example, how participants in a dynastic succession war all want to murder or have sex with each other.

“Classic FM is a bit too niche for me, though, probably because my tastes are so varied. I also like traditional folk ballads like the Rains of Castamere, and that one in season three about the bear.”

According to her friends, Kramer also claims to be ‘a massive medieval history buff’, but is unaware of any events that took place outside the fictional kingdoms of Westeros.