A MAN decided to hurl himself into the blades of a combine harvester to avoid the agony of explaining what kind of music he enjoys.
Joe Turner, 29, was walking in the countryside with friends when an acquaintance asked one of the most harrowing questions a person can face: ‘What sort of music are you into?’
A combine harvester in a nearby field gave Turner the chance to dodge the question in favour of being horribly mangled, but he was thwarted by an alert farm worker seeing his suicidal dash toward the blades.
Turner said: “I was making small talk with this guy Steve when – totally out of nowhere – he asked what sort of music I listen to. I couldn’t believe it. What kind of sick bastard puts someone in that situation?
“My mind was racing with questions. Can I get away with saying ‘a bit of everything’? Do people think Pitbull is cool? Will saying ‘early Bob Dylan’ make me sound like a complete wanker?
“In an amazing stroke of luck I saw a combine harvester nearby. It was an easy decision to make. I sprinted toward its horrific rotating blades, but sadly the driver shut it down before it sliced and diced me. Now I’ve got the far worse psychological pain of relating my taste in music.”
Steve Malley, who posed the question, said: “There really wasn’t any need for Joe to hurl himself into agricultural machinery. I just wanted to see if we had anything in common. Personally, I’m a big fan of Bob Dylan’s earlier stuff.”