Man who can’t get Radio 4 invites patronising posh friend over

A RADIO 4 listener whose radio suddenly died was able to recreate the experience by getting a talkative posh friend to come round.

Tom Logan found his privately educated friend Helen Archer could replicate the BBC station by prattling on all day about worthy subjects and obscure cultural stuff.

Logan said: “I desperately needed someone to read the news to me in a slightly condescending way.

“Also, Helen has a habit of turning problems that affect everyone, like NHS waiting lists, into a feminist issue, so that was Woman’s Hour sorted.

“I love Radio 4’s shows devoted to a quirky lifestyle topic and Helen’s been dabbling in Ayurvedic massage so she was able to drone on about that for an hour.

The Archers was more of a challenge, but Helen improvised a story about sheep ticks with an odd, socially aware subplot about lonely rural pensioners.”

Logan added: “My new radio from Amazon won’t arrive until Saturday, but Helen’s promised to come back tomorrow and do an arts show about the ‘new wave’ of Brazilian flamenco guitarists I don’t give a shit about.”