Man witnesses the death of music for, like, the ninth time

A 35 year-old man has declared that music is dead, for what he reckons is probably the ninth time.

Martin Bishop declared that, after hearing Mike Skinner’s new ‘Tonga’ music, it really is all over this time.

Bishop said: “Most recently I said it when Bowie died, but now that I’ve heard this ‘Tonga’ stuff, it’s definitely dead.

“I also said it when Rap emerged, when Karma Chameleon came out and when Britpop started. And the Spice Girls.

“In a weird way I think I was a little bit right every single time.”

He added: “It’s kind of a family tradition. My father witnessed the death of music with Herman’s Hermits, Glam Rock and the Sex Pistols.”