Middle-aged velociraptors remembering the Jurassic Park good times
THE release of Jurassic World has seen middle-aged bespectacled velociraptors reminiscing about starring in its predecessor.
The dinosaurs, the breakout hit of 1993’s Jurassic Park, have all left their movie careers behind to live peaceful suburban lives.
Velociraptor Tom Logan, now an orthodontist, said: “I don’t get recognised much any more.
“Hardly surprising – people remember the sleek young predator from the film, and here’s me with a paunch, no scales left on the top of my head, sucking on a vape pen doing the school run.
“These dinosaurs they’ve got in this new one – metriacanthosaurus, baryonyx, mosasaurus – I’ve never heard of them.
“It’d have been nice if they’d called me up for a cameo, but we had our time.
“I keep a low profile these days, though my kids’ school did find out and got me to hunt down and disembowel a maths teacher to open up their summer fete.”
Logan is still in touch with his fellow velociraptor stars, one of whom owns a parcel delivery business in Chester and the other who is a pub landlord in Leatherhead.
He added: “Roy, the T-rex? So sad. He thought he was invincible.
“He called me a few years ago, from rehab. He was going to call me again when he got out. That’s the last time anyone heard from him.”