MIDDLE class people are itching to have not read the new Dan Brown book.
Fans of distancing themselves from populist things have been unable to sleep at the thrilling prospect of never buying Inferno.
36-year-old Guardian enthusiast Emma Bradford said: “I loved not reading The Da Vinci Code, that was a rip-roaring boost to my intellectual self-esteem.
“The best bit was being able to feel better than something without guilt, because Dan Brown is not inherently working class like meat pies or being stocky.
“He’s just a hack writer for people who read for pleasure and I am definitely not one of those people.
“I just hope the main female character in Inferno is a juvenile stereotype of a buxom academic and that the clumsy, poorly-constructed plot takes wildly implausible liberties with history.
“Also it will be great if there is a one-eyed dwarf assassin called Ludovicio who speaks in grammatically incorrect Latin and most of the idiotic UK population thinks that is good.”
Senior graphic designer Julian Cook said: “Hopefully Inferno has a really lurid, horrible cover with flames and big embossed writing, because I will have great disdain for that when I see other reading it on the tube.
“Of course the hard part with Dan Brown is getting enough information so that you can mock his books but without people thinking you might actually have read them.”