PARANOID lunatics are finding support for Hamas in the most innocuous places, like a totally unconnected M&S Christmas ad. If you’re mental, watch out for these things.
Colours
Anything red, green and white is pro-Palestinian, like the M&S ad showing coloured paper hats tossed on a fire by people bored of Christmas traditions. Admittedly those are also the colours of the flags of Hungary, Mexico and Madagascar, or as it should be referred to now, ‘the Hungarian-Madagascan-Mexican-Palestinian Axis of Evil’.
And there’s something else that’s red, green and white as Christmas approaches: elves. For God’s sake don’t allow one of these little Islamic extremists into your house. He’ll be watching you alright – for signs of homosexual activity.
Rivers
‘From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free’ goes the pro-Palestine slogan. As such, any reference to a river is violently anti-Israel. If you hear someone say ‘Emma and I had a lovely walk by the Avon’ you can bet their next day out will be chucking painted mice around in a McDonald’s.
Seas
As above. Anyone who likes going to the seaside supports global Jihad, even if it’s your daughter and she’s four.
Not tweeting
Not tweeting your condemnation of Hamas is exactly the same as giving your wholehearted support to murderers. The worst offender is the highly influential twitterer Gary Lineker, who is no doubt hiding behind the excuse that he has no particular interest in, or connection to, Israel or Palestine. Perhaps you’d care to explain why you haven’t tweeted a detailed plan for the rescue of the Israeli hostages, Gary?
Paragliding
The singer Alicia Keys declared a passing interest in going paragliding – the exact same mode of transport of some of the Hamas terrorists. She later tweeted ‘The post I shared earlier was COMPLETELY unrelated in any way to the recent devastating loss of innocent lives’ – clearly the words of a fanatic consumed by hate.
Following this logic to its sensible conclusion, you should look out for other vehicles favoured by Hamas, such as Toyota pick-ups. Confront anyone you see with one in their drive. They’ll claim they’re just a self-employed builder and they find a large vehicle handy for work. So it’s just a coincidence you can fit a heavy machine gun and six Hamas militants in the back, is it?
Calls for peace
Calling for peace is a clear indication of someone wanting the cycle of violence to continue indefinitely. If you hear anyone saying ‘I just wish everyone could live together peacefully’ with genuine sadness in their voice, punch the bastard in the face.
