A NEW Cold War could result in hundreds of incomprehensible spy novels, experts have warned.There will be some sort of chess thing on the cover
With tensions growing between the West and Russia, book publishers fear a resurgence of convoluted thrillers with portentous titles like The Kremlin Sanction.
Publisher Stephen Malley said: When the Cold War ended we thought wed never have to read another spy novel where you have to keep going back a few pages to remember whats going on.
But thanks to Putin arsing around in Ukraine, the bestseller list will soon be full of books about jaded middle-aged men trying to uncover a double-agent in Prague, or something else thats quite hard to care about.
They will also feature dozens of Russian characters who you keep getting confused with each other. Not that it matters because you wont know whose side anyone is on until the last few pages.
There might be a bit of badly written sex with a Russian woman who dies to avoid cluttering up the sequel, but mainly itll be people hanging around parks in Moscow.
Spy author Roy Hobbs, who writes under the pen-name Jack Vanguard, said: My new novel, The Groznograd Protocol, is fucking impenetrable, and Im still only on the first page.
Im just hoping there isnt a real nuclear war before my advance comes though.