New Mary Poppins film mostly about her spanking Jacob Rees-Mogg
THE new Mary Poppins film is to focus on the magical nanny’s later career of dealing out sexual discipline to Jacob Rees-Mogg.
Mary Poppins Returns follows the character after her career in childcare dried up and she became a dominatrix, with clients in every Conservative cabinet from the 1980s to today.
A Disney source said: “It’s still got marvellous songs.”
The source addded: “Mary is blown in by the East Wind when Rees-Mogg is searching for a sexual liasion that really makes him feel like a loathsome worm, and beats him with a selection of items you’d never guess would all fit into one carpet bag.
“She dances around Trafalgar Square singing ‘Feed the poor, tuppence a bag,’ giving the Tories the idea for ‘austerity, a silly made-up word that means whatever you want it to!’.
“Then she transports George Osborne into a magical cartoon world where the unwaged can survive simply on charity, before putting him in bridle and harness and riding him to victory in the Gran National.”