Tuesday, 11th May 2021

New Resentful Compromise TV channel launched for couples

LONG-TERM couples are to get their own TV channel packed with content neither wants to watch but neither particularly objects to. 

Resentful Compromise is a channel dedicated to disguising the fact that just because two people share a sofa every night does not mean they enjoy the same things in life.

A spokesperson said: “She wants to watch First Dates. He wants to watch Fast & Furious 8. Why flip around bickering when our channel pleases nobody?

“All our content will be infinitesimally more acceptable than your partner scrolling endlessly through the channels while you grimly say ‘put whatever you want on, I’m not bothered.’

“Rather than confront the underlying differences that mean you should be leading entirely separate lives, with a TV each, switch on RCTV and glance up at it grudgingly while pointedly remaining on your phone.

“Packed with tepid dramas and lame sitcoms, nothing in our schedule will be too gritty or too romantic. You’ll make it through entire films neither of you wanted to watch then go unsatisfied to bed. It’s the only channel you need.”

Joanna Kramer, who has been with partner Steve Malley for 16 years, said: “We had it on last night. It was crap. I blame him.”