DESPITE them being made up of about 40 pixels, your adolescent brain found a way to fancy these characters from 90s video games:
Way before she was portrayed by Angelina Jolie and became an acceptable sex symbol, you were obsessively fantasising about Lara Croft and her alluring cuboid breasts. Of course you could never tell your friends that you had the horn for a tiny digital woman who murdered dinosaurs, so you just pretended to fancy Posh Spice like everyone else.
Yes, she was little more than the outline of a vaguely female form with no discernible facial features wearing a hot pink dress and a crown, but that didn’t stop your dirty little teenage brain going into overdrive. Unfortunately for you she seemed to be in a complicated relationship with an Italian plumber. Although sometimes you had weird thoughts about him too.
The idea of a former police officer forced to murder swathes of zombies created by an evil pharmaceutical company might not sound like something that would spark a sexual awakening. However, that didn’t stop your teenage self, tragically unable to get any attention from the real-life females at school, from considering this poorly rendered cyber-lady as an object of lust.
As if being attracted to a computerised person wasn’t embarrassing enough, you somehow managed to get the hots for an eroticised digital fox. While everyone goes through weird phases as a teenager, it’s probably best that you never, ever tell anyone about this.
Despite being an elf who spent most of her time incarcerated by kidnappers, as well as just being a piece of code in a video game, you dared to dream that you could somehow make it work with Princess Zelda. While you mostly got over this bump in your adolescent development, you’ve maintained a soft spot for anyone with excessively pointy ears.