Reading Festival boasts ‘best ever’ line-up of people to throw piss at

EXCITED music fans cannot wait to decide which acts at the Reading Festival they will throw bottles of urine at.

With Liam Gallagher, Kasabian and Kendrick Lamar headlining and a host of other wankers also playing, festival-goers are spoilt for choice over bottle-of-wee hurling.

Student Tom Booker said: “My main worry is that if I want to throw a bottle of piss at Fall Out Boy it will clash with throwing a bottle of piss at Kendrick Lamar.

“I’ve only got a small rucksack so I didn’t bring any booze, spare clothes or drugs and just brought piss bottles instead. I love music so I want to drench as many of these twats as possible.

“I’d hate to miss an act I want throw piss at so me and my girlfriend have drawn up a tight schedule. It’s going to be lovely throwing bottles at Kings of Leon together.”

Accountant Norman Steele, 43, said: “Now I’m older and better off I don’t have to rough it at festivals. I’ve brought a luxury camper van with 60 bottles of chilled piss in the fridge.

“They’re all for Liam Gallagher.”

19-year-old Donna Sheridan said: “My dad gave me a bottle of piss he never got to throw at Iron Maiden in 1980. I hope Kasabian appreciate its rich rock heritage.”