EXCITED music fans cannot wait to decide which acts at the Reading Festival they will throw bottles of urine at.
With The 1975, The Killers and Billie Eilish headlining and a host of other wankers also playing, festival-goers are spoilt for choice over bottle-of-wee hurling.
Student Tom Booker said: “My main worry is that if I want to throw a bottle of piss at Matty Healy it will clash with throwing a bottle of piss at Brandon Flowers.
“I’ve only got a small rucksack so I didn’t bring any booze, spare clothes or drugs and just brought piss bottles instead. I love music so I want to drench as many of these twats as possible.
“I’d hate to miss an act I want throw piss at so me and my girlfriend have drawn up a tight schedule. It’s going to be lovely throwing bottles at Central Cee together.”
Accountant Norman Steele, 43, said: “Now I’m older and better off I don’t have to rough it at festivals. I’ve brought a luxury camper van with 60 bottles of chilled piss in the fridge.
“They’re all for Imagine Dragons.”
19-year-old Donna Sheridan said: “My dad gave me a bottle of piss he never got to throw at Iron Maiden in 1980. I hope Nothing But Thieves appreciate its rich rock heritage.”