Record Companies Call For Ban On Whistling

THE world's leading record companies have joined forces to call for a ban on whistling, claiming it is an infringement of copyright. 

'Fed through a tube'

A spokesman for Sony Records said: "Every year we are losing more than $200 trillion thanks to a loophole that allows human beings to whistle.

"Frank Sinatra was forced to sell two of his boats because he was unable to collect royalties from busy old men whistling Strangers in the Night."

Under the proposals whistling will be banned unless the whistler is prepared to pay 79p for each song or part of a song.

Anyone who continues to whistle without paying will be served with a banning order.

If they breach the banning order they will have their lips stapled shut and be fed through a tube.

A spokesman for the Disney Corporation warned: "Let's be clear on this. If you whistle Whistle While You Work while you work we'll make all your nightmares come true."