Researchers discover only British actor who hasn’t been in Doctor Who

RESEARCHERS have confirmed the discovery of the only British actor who has never been in Doctor Who.

Forty-nine year-old Wayne Hayes, whose credits includes Midsomer Murders, Holby City, Old Dogs, Hollyoaks and Star in a Reasonably Priced Car from Top Gear back when it was good, is the only British actor of the last 50 years who has failed to be cast in the children’s sci-fi favourite.

He said: “I’ve had a few auditions for ‘Who’ but never got the role. My last one was for a Dalek.

“I spent days getting into it, working out my motivation and practicing in front of a mirror – Ex-Ter-min-ATE, Ex-TER-minate, EXTER-min-ate.”

He added: “So I say my line to Steven Moffatt and he shouts ‘next!’ and told me I wasn’t ‘committing to the Dalek mindset’. Which is a bit rich. Have you seen it? They’ll take bloody anyone.

“If Iain Duncan Smith can play the Fisher King, then why can’t I be a Dalek?”