Rock band splits because of musical similarities 

A ROCK band have split because they have the same crap tastes and sound like all the other shit that is out there.

Dewsbury-based four-piece The Stopped Clocks confirmed that only by going their separate ways could they hope to achieve any semblance of originality.

Lead singer Tom Booker said: “None of us are into Afrobeat, Krautrock, Americana, hip hop or anything other than the most middle-of-the-road indie rock shit. And we all got on fine as people, so there was no clash or tension whatsoever.

“Our well-received demo tapes only confirmed our suspicion that guitar, vocals and melodies were meshing perfectly to create a grey, homogenous sound that reminds listeners of a less edgy Coldplay.

“Imagine that.”

He added: “The drummer’s going to Africa to explore the juju beat, the bassist is immersing himself in minimal techno in Berlin, and our lead guitarist is journeying into the country EDM scene.

“I’m going back to trolley collecting at Tesco. It’s for the best.”