CELEBRITIES are better than you. Some of them are also really f**king weird. Here are five that are surely an elaborate act:
Loveable TV presenter Rylan is on our screens so much that you’ve got used to his strangely immaculate hair and high visibility teeth. You assume he’s in his fifties and has simply had a lot of work done, then you learn he turned 33 this month and begin to wonder how that’s possible. Maybe he was made in a factory.
Anybody who makes a candle that smells like their vagina is surely taking the piss. The real Gwyneth Paltrow must be a method actor or performance artist who has to embody the most insufferable twat for a living. The alternative, that she’s a ludicrously wealthy moron, is too grim to contemplate.
High octane choreographer Louis Spence has achieved cult fame thanks to his energetic dancing and in-your-face personality. There’s no way he can keep this up 24/7 though. If you can’t imagine someone kicking back with a takeaway pizza and a Netflix marathon of their favourite series then they’re probably putting up a front.
You know that Cardi B is an American rapper. You also know that she is incredibly talented and made that rude song with Megan Thee Stallion. But when you watch her confound interviewers by making strange noises like that cop from Police Academy, you secretly wonder if she’s a glitch in the Matrix that only you can see.
There are only three certainties in life: death, taxes, and Hollywood actor Paul Rudd’s eternal youth. While everyone else eventually withers and dies, Paul Rudd will remain as fresh-faced as he looked in Clueless, the bastard. There must be an absolutely grotesque portrait of him in an attic somewhere, it’s the only logical explanation for his unnatural looks.