Six endings more disappointing than Line of Duty

THE conclusion of Line of Duty saw viewers completely fooled by a plausible twist, so they’ve decided it must be bad. But these endings were worse: 

Game of Thrones

Obvious but true. Daenerys’s heel turn was reasonably well-foreshadowed, but a show that prided itself on murdering protagonists letting Jon Snow live? Giving Bran the Wilfully Random the Iron Throne? Making Tyrion his Hand despite his last two positions as Hand refusing to give him a reference? Balls.


The only explanation for the final episode of Sherlock is that the creators were sick of constant pressure to make more and decided to kill that desire once and for all. Which their Crystal Maze of murder absolutely did. Sherlock has never been mentioned again and the stars are now safely in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, which has editors.

The Undoing

Another occasion where viewers who’d spent weeks concocting wilder and wilder theories were let down by a realistic, believable conclusion. Instead Nicole Kidman should’ve been behind the whole thing using a combination of hypnosis, puppetry and glass-screen projection.

Star Wars

The ending of the original trilogy wasn’t bad. The ending of the prequels, well, at least they were over. But this latest ending? The Emperor’s granddaughter declares herself an adopted Skywalker and flies off to what, run Jedi Knight Story Hour at the Galactic Library?

The Gulf War

Millions were glued to this cinema verite classic back in 1991, which centred around allied forces retaking Kuwait and had an on-screen budget of billions. But the ending after a mere 100 hours of ground war came out of nowhere, offered no closure and has a 34 per cent rating on Rotten Tomatoes. The sequel/reboot in 2003 was even worse.


36 years weaving a story around a London square, and it just ends abruptly with Sharon taking over the Queen Vic, leaving all the other storylines dangling? Yes, there was a pleasing circularity to it, but what about the thing with Denny and the party boat? What about Phil? It was barely an ending at all. What do you mean, it’s back on?

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Orphaned baby llama befriends orphaned baby walrus: five uplifting news stories we just made up

NEED a boost? These touching stories of human heroism, animal friendship and insect ingenuity invented on the spot should do the trick: 

Orphaned baby llama befriends orphaned baby walrus

When Lima the baby llama lost his mother in a landslide, a couple on a trekking holiday adopted him and took him back to their native Canada where he struck up an friendship with a fellow adorable orphan, Winnipeg the walrus. The inseparable pair enjoy sunbathing on rocks together and spitting on humans. So darn cute!

American child sets up lemonade stand for her mum’s surgery

Inspirational teen Sophie Rodriguez wasn’t allowed to go out to work due to restrictive child labour laws, so instead she set up a popular lemonade stand to raise money for her mother’s urgent care. Her whole community rallied round and she’d soon made $2.2 million, enough to cover the surgery and pay her college education upfront. Nice going, Sophie.

Hero cat saves baby from a burning building

Snuffles the tabby will be getting extra Whiskas tonight after he selflessly dived into a burning building to rescue a two-year-old. The baby’s mother then adopted the stray and rebuilt their home after selling the film rights. Now Snuffles and the family live in the lap of luxury and maintain their own private fire service.

Wasp does thousand laps of living room for charity

A local wasp has emulated Captain Tom’s fundraising heroism by circling a living room a thousand times. Ignoring open windows and flapping arms, Norman Steele the wasp has inspired Britain and raised £310,000 to be split between the NHS, Great Ormond Street Hospital and wasp charities. Godspeed Norman, you stripy legend.

Couple who’ve been together for seventy years learn TikTok dance

A couple in their 90s – he’s a WWII veteran, she worked with NASA – have warmed millions of cockles by participating in a viral TikTok dance and sharing the results online. Joseph Turner and his wife Mary learned the choreography for ‘The Bitch Slap’ from their great-great-granddaughter, Lauren Hewitt, a vet who makes prosthetic limbs for injured puppies. Tissues, anyone?