DO you keep watching things because gushing critics recommend them? Then you were probably disappointed by these:
Perfect if you want a weirdly unrealistic, middle-class spy drama. It appears a lot of people did, or perhaps they just fancied Jodie Comer in her jim jams. Maybe Phoebe Waller-Bridge could improve Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy with some mildly amusing lines about childcare?
Hailed as a grittier, war film version of the Star Wars franchise, what weary critics probably meant was ‘not as shit as the other new ones’. Everyone dies in order to not f**k up the story continuity, and don’t forget to have nightmares about CGI Carrie Fisher.
A hard-edged, contemporary drama about Islamic fundamentalist terrorism. For the first 30 minutes. Then it dissolves into a mush of stereotypical police thriller stuff fronted by a monosyllabic Scotsman. However if you only tuned in to watch Keeley Hawes wanking you have no one to blame but yourself.
Incredibly well-received, artsy horror movie with the slight drawback that bugger all interesting happens, except a child getting decapitated by a telegraph pole. When that’s the highlight you’ll feel a bit weird discussing it in the pub.
Basically about some kids and a monster, but heavily referencing 80s culture, in particular Steven Spielberg. Not dreadful, but like making a film about a giant shark menacing a policeman, a marine biologist and a salty old seadog and calling it ‘a fresh new take on Jaws‘.
A notable second entry for Ms Waller-Bridge. In the Fleabag universe every character is a hateful, annoying, middle-class twat, which might explain why the Guardian loved it so much.