Slovenians can’t wait to hear wacky British Eurovision entry

SLOVENIAN Eurovision fans are gleefully anticipating whatever crazy act the UK is entering for Eurovision this year. 

28-year-old Lojze Lipovsek enjoys the many credible, talented acts in the competition but admits half the fun is seeing what dreadful nutjob act Britain has entered this time.

He continued: “Obviously at its heart Eurovision is a very serious musical spectacle featuring some of the continent’s greatest performers, but it’s great to have Britain there for some comic relief.

“Last year they had this hilarious couple with neon clothes, a few years ago there was an excruciating rap about not liking school, and one time they’d clearly completely forgotten to prepare anything and had some trolley dollys doing a hi-NRG safety presentation.

“It’s good that they recognise they can’t compete with the big boys and settle for just giving everyone a smile.

Lipovsek added: “Not that anyone ever votes for them, because they’re a bunch of pasty xenophobes.”

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BBC dumped Tories in 1996

THE BBC has told the Conservative Party to get over that time they dated back in 1996. 

The broadcaster went out with the political party for three months twenty years ago but broke it off when they found them to be too weird and controlling. 

The BBC said: “At first the Tory Party seemed quite glamorous and wealthy – they knew a load of celebrities and old rock stars – but it soon became apparent they just wanted me to keep my mouth shut and look pretty.

“I told them I was old enough think for myself but they just threatened to take away my income if I didn’t do as they said.”

The party had a similarly short rebound relationship with Channel 4, who ended that relationship after just three weeks when they asked them to ‘stop hanging around with so many oddballs’.

The Tories have recently accused the BBC of flirting with too many viewers and has said it does not even understand why people think it is attractive. They say their new partner, Sky, is way nicer and has Game of Thrones.

Despite telling everyone who will listen what a boring old slag the BBC is, they still insist on being told everything they are up to so they can say whether they approve or not.