Striptease Ad Should Have Been Shown After Work, Say Angry Viewers

THOUSANDS of viewers have contacted the advertising standards watchdog demanding a controversial striptease ad be shown the minute they get home from work.

The Advertising Standards Agency said the commercial, which depicts a woman performing a striptease while dressed in a school uniform, was shown at 'inappropriate' times during the day, when no-one would have been around to appreciate it.

Tom Logan, a trainee solicitor from London, contacted the ASA stressing he had not yet seen the advert, but that it sounded both 'sexually provocative' and 'excellent'.

He added: "This advert has been shown during the day, when young children could have been watching and I was at work.

"For the love of God would you please think of the children and show this advert between 7 and 8pm so that I have time to get home and dig out a fresh tube sock."

Wayne Hayes, a financial adviser from Reading, said: "Apparently this advert is for chocolate or fabric softener, or possibly car insurance. The point is, no-one knows and no-one cares."

He added: "It's art and it should not be tainted with the foul stench of commerce.

"This young lady should be free to express herself, preferably at around 7pm, before I've had my tea."

Sign up now to get
The Daily Mash
free Headlines email – every weekday

Inflation Targets ‘well F*cked’ Says Merv

GOVERNOR of the Bank of England Mervyn King has written to the Chancellor of the Exchequer to confirm the government’s inflation target was now 'well and truly fucked'.

Mr King’s official letter said inflation was unlikely to return to the  target rate of 2% before the end of next year. "Twatting fuck," he added.

The Governor blamed the rise on a combination of global food price rises, the volatile oil market and 'brown people having too many cars'.

The governor said there was 'cock-all' chance of prices falling soon, and forecast an increase in the number of people having to sell their daughters into the sex trade to buy a meal.

Mr King wrote: "Inflation is more than one piss-flap point above your prick-spittle target of 2%. So? What the pissing cock do you want me to do about it, badger balls?"

He added: "As if I did not already have enough on my plate clearing up all your other shit, you now expect to stick it right up me in public. Well try publishing this, fuck button."

Read Mervyn King’s letter in full here