FROM slagging off your partner for watching it to staying up all night to finish the series, these are the stages of getting stupidly invested in a dreadful telly programme.
Taking the piss out of your partner for their viewing choices
You swan into the room after doing some self-improving activity like jogging to find that your partner is watching an episode of Selling Sunset, where tiny bald men and giant Amazonian women sell obscenely expensive houses and bitch about each other. You mock your partner viciously for being so trashy and basic.
Moving from the arm of the sofa to fully sitting down
Ten minutes in and you’ve somehow slid from the arm of the sofa where you’d loftily perched yourself to take the piss into a comfortable sitting position next to your partner. You’re going to get up in a minute, you tell yourself. You just want a moment more of being judgemental about these awful people who have enough money to buy an 8,000 square foot house you desperately wish you owned.
Not letting your partner change the channel
After a couple of episodes your partner mentions there’s something on in a few minutes that you both wanted to watch. Because you’re so invested in finding out whether Chrishell and Jason will get together or not you tell them not to worry about switching over. That’s what catch-up is for after all.
Continuing to watch when your partner goes to bed
At midnight your partner announces they’re going to bed and asks if you’re coming. You say you’ll be up in five minutes, before pausing the show and going to the kitchen to pour yourself another drink and make a nice big plate of cheese and crackers.
Getting to sleep at 4am hating yourself
Okay, so somehow you’re now halfway through the next season and even though you’re knackered and a bit pissed, you need to know whether Christine gets fired or not. And when you find out, it’s a huge anticlimax and you go to bed feeling hollow and somehow cheapened.