Tyre fitter used to be fairly well-known rave MC

A GARAGE worker used to be a relatively popular rave MC, he has revealed.

45-year-old tyre fitter Tom Logan revealed his past fame to customer Mary Fisher after spotting a Ministry of Sound CD in her car.

He said: “If you like raving you might remember MC Rushmaster J? I used to say things like ‘hold tight for the rush’ and ‘time to get your rush on’ and ‘rush, rush, can’t get enough’.”

Fisher lied and said that she thought she had, while Logan explained how once he MC-ed for Grooverider at the Brunel Rooms in Swindon, as well as working with Sasha at a rave in a former carpet factory near Stoke.

Logan added: “I was MC-ing up to three times a month at some massive events and I was on two Fantazia tape packs around 1996 or ’97.”

He then went to prison for a bit before deciding to focus on fitting tyres, although he is planning an Ibiza tour next year funded by his friend who runs a successful double glazing firm near Trowbridge.

However his rambling monologue was cut short by garage manager Judge Jules telling him to get on with it and stop bothering the customers.


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Woman shunned by friends for liking aerobics

A WOMAN who enjoys exercise without any spiritualism or bullshit attached is being ignored by her friends.

Helen Archer signed up to aerobics classes at her local leisure centre and has since become a social pariah.

Archer, 31, said: “I thought that the point of exercise was to stop me turning into a big fatty and reduce my risk of developing a chronic disease, but apparently that is completely wrong.

“They say there are two ways to do exercise. You can choose some kind of lunatic high intensity regime that involves a medieval-sounding item called a ‘kettleball’ and probably a hernia at some stage.

“Or there’s the option of some wafty bullshit like yoga, where you pretend to be all spiritual about it but actually everyone is measuring your worth by how close you can get your foot to your ear. Either way you have to spend an absolute fortune and talk about it incessantly.

“When I mentioned that I did aerobics they asked if I was doing it in an ironic, eighties Fame kind of way and I said no.

“Then they stopped talking to me.”