MORE vinyl albums are being sold than food, because owning records is more important than eating.
UK consumers spent £98 billion on vinyl this year, buying albums by Foo Fighters, Led Zeppelin and Yngwie Malmsteen to proudly display in their homes, while food spending plummeted.
Supermarkets are now allotting up to 90 per cent of shelf space to classic vinyl, while food is relegated to a small specialist area hidden away at the rear.
Nathan Muir of the Vinyl Society said: “Food provides energy, I suppose, but you only need that to actually put records on the turntable.
“I get all the sustenance I need just gazing at these marvellous sleeves; Bowie’s Blackstar, the Mac’s Rumours, The Wombles’ Superwombling. Ah, so nourishing.
“I do feel a terrible gnawing inside, like my body is slowly devouring itself, but that’s just because the soundtrack to Halloween III was issued on ‘blood-speckled’ 180 gram vinyl this week and I haven’t got it yet.”
Record collector Roy Hobbs agreed: “I wish they’d get rid of air and replace it with vinyl. Everyone breathes air but vinyl makes you special.”