DID you spend hours of your youth perfecting a skill that became entirely pointless when you grew up? Like one of these?
Jumping from a swing
Whoever could jump the farthest from a moving swing was a playground god, due to the courage it took to master such an incredible stunt. When you subsequently attempted to show off this skill as a drunk adult, it ended not with the adulation of your peers but a broken wrist and a trip to A&E.
You spent hours in your room studiously learning how to make a long coloured handkerchief appear from your sleeve. This skill had one public outing at a school talent show where you mildly embarrassed your parents, and, as adults who do magic are creepy, it’s never seen the light of day again.
In the world of young teenagers, there is nothing cooler than being able to wheelie the entire length of your local Tesco carpark, especially if you’ve just nicked some chewing gum. If you are still doing this in your twenties it’s just tragic, will lose you friends and will gain you a pathetic criminal record.
Being able to repetitively jump over a rotating piece of rope was a surefire way to earn the respect of your mates in primary school, especially if you sang a song whilst doing it. But unless you grew up to become a professional boxer there’s zero practical use for this ability by the time you have a mortgage.
There was a time where nothing seemed more important than being able to make a small plastic disc bounce up a piece of string and master complex tricks like The Sleeper. Fair play if you could do it, but try putting ‘proficient at yo-yoing’ on your CV and see how far you get.