Saturday, 4th July 2020

Woman doesn't understand film despite talking all the way through it

A WOMAN has no idea what happened in the film she watched with a friend, despite asking questions throughout.

When not searching on her phone for a synopsis of the plot, Emma Bradford pestered friend Donna Sheridan with queries about The Irishman, including ‘Why is it so bloody long?’

Sheridan said: “I wanted a relaxing evening watching Netflix, but with Emma present it was as much fun as explaining the intricacies of organised crime to a toddler.

“She was mercifully quiet when I thought she was reading the Wikipedia page about it, but it turned out she’d stumbled across a video of a pig having a bath.

“By the time she tuned in again she’d missed even more. Eventually I switched it off, otherwise our friendship would have ended there and then with me punching her in the face.”

Bradford said: “A pig having a bath is categorically more entertaining than Robert De Niro mumbling in a nursing home.”