Woman watching The Crown hoping nothing bad happens to her favourite character

A WOMAN who has become very attached to Elizabeth Debicki’s character in The Crown hopes nothing bad happens to her this season.

Eleanor Shaw loves troubled, tempestuous Diana in the hit Netflix series, and has her fingers crossed the Princess of Wales does not meet a grisly end like Lord Mountbatten on that boat.

Shaw said: “Diana went through hell in season five with the phone tapping plot and the divorce. She deserves a happy ending.

“Everything started out so well when she was played by Emma Corrin, too. She met Charles, fell in love, had a big wedding, then it all went downhill. It’s like the writers have got it in for her.

“I’m not saying she’s perfect. All those affairs were definitely a low point. But maybe she wouldn’t have been driven to them if Charles was more supportive of her eating disorder.

“Hopefully this season she’ll find a new romantic interest or win the lottery or something. Anything to put a smile on her beautiful but permanently glum face.”

Friend Nikki Hollis said: “I asked Ellie if she remembers 1997 but she covered her ears and begged me not to tell her spoilers.”

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Man horrified to learn from bathroom cubicle wall that his mother 'gobbles knobs'

A MAN has been appalled to learn from some graffiti in a pub bathroom that his mum gobbles knobs, it has emerged.

While sitting on the toilet at his local, 28-year-old Stephen Malley was gobsmacked to discover via a childish scribble next to the toilet roll dispenser that his ageing mother has oral sex skills of some renown.

Malley said: “Imagine my shock when, midway through my post-third-pint-of-Guinness evacuation, I see a message penned in Sharpie that reads ‘your mum gobbles knobs’.

“I couldn’t believe my eyes. Is it just straightforward slander, or does my mother have a reputation around the dodgiest pubs in town that I have been completely unaware of until now?

“Naturally I called her the second I got out of the loo, but she told me to stop being such a bloody idiot and passed me over to my dad. He wasn’t shocked, said he’d always had his suspicions and then laughed his head off.

“I was pretty distraught over the whole thing, really, as you’d expect. But particularly so as I’d found out at the same time that 9/11 was an inside job and someone called Roy Hobbs takes it up the bum.”