EVERY broadband company is an absolute shower of shit run by complete bastards, it has been confirmed.
The Institute for Studies found that despite their bold claims and upbeat marketing, none of the major internet companies was able to provide a service that actually worked.
Professor Henry Brubaker said: “I take a particularly dim view of having to spend hours trying to find an internet company’s customer service number because they have deliberately concealed it in the bowels of the internet.
“It’s like trying to return a faulty chair, only to find the shop has moved to Patagonia in a deliberate attempt to avoid you.”
Professor Brubaker also highlighted internet providers encouraging frustrated customers to contact them via instant messenger: “The very astute might see there’s an obvious problem with this if your internet isn’t working.”
He added: “They really are the biggest bunch of bastards. Bloated, tick-like devils to a man.
“I advise not having the internet, it’s shit anyway.”