Anything bends if you f**k about with it enough, says Apple

APPLE has admitted its new iPhone will bend if you are determined to bend it.

The company has been inundated with complaints from iPhone customers, but stressed it was impossible to make something that does not, ultimately, bend.

A spokesman said: “If you don’t want it to bend then don’t fucking sit on it. How’s about that?

“And, actually, if it didn’t bend then the screen might crack and you’d end up with tiny shards of glass up your back passage. That’s no picnic.”

The spokesman added: “Tell you what, shall we just put a sticker on the front that says ‘not for sitting on’? Would that help, you fucking idiots?”