THE Bank of Mum and Dad is run by total bastards just like all banks, it has emerged.
Despite promoting itself as ethical and playing up the directors’ roles as customers’ parents, the bank has decided to triple its interest rates so that it can buy a new car.
29-year-old Emma Bradford said: “I took out a £80k loan with the Bank of Mum and Dad because they claimed to be personally interested in my well-being and getting me out of their house.
“But today I’ve got a shitty letter on headed paper saying that my mum wants an extra £200 per month or she’s going to kick my door in and take the fish tank.
“The Bank of Mum and Dad are bigger fuckers than Lloyds and Barclays put together.”
Bradford’s mother Gillian said: “Unfortunately the Bank of Mum and Dad is facing tough trading conditions, partly because of overspend during a recent weekend trip to Swanage steam railway, leaving us will little option but to regretfully pass on some costs to customers.
“Also Emma should not have described Countryfile as ‘sentimental shite’, I love that programme and John Craven is a sex god.”