Bosses can read workers' emails out loud if they’re particularly juicy

EMPLOYERS can read personal emails by their staff out loud in meetings if they are particularly juicy, the European court has ruled.

Following a test case by a Romanian boss who took an employee to court to find out details of an inter-office threesome, all emails which pass a threshold of prurient interest can be used to enliven staff meetings and presentations to shareholders.

Hedge fund manager Norman Steele said: “My junior was sending, and receiving, emails about her husband’s gay affair with his yoga teacher that were clearly of great potential benefit to the company, but my hands were tied.

“Thanks to this ruling, I’ve already delighted the office with them, and I expect they’ll really motivate the boys on the sales floor next week.”

Marketing assistant Susan Traherne said: “I wasn’t aware that the gory details of my marriage break-up were legally an asset of my employer, or indeed that they were incredibly funny if you weren’t directly involved.

“Now I’ve been booked on an email reading tour of all our branches, sharing my most intimate secrets with more than 7,600  frontline retail workers. It’s better than sitting in front of a computer all day.”

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Childless women’s husband-stealing plan foiled by Daily Mail

SCHEMING childless women have had their home-wrecking plans ruined by The Daily Mail.

The newspaper has revealed the link between women without children and ‘rampant infidelity’, potentially saving millions of marriages.

43-year-old Emma Bradford said: “Like all childless women, I chose not to have kids purely so that I can lure other women’s husbands into my web of sexual depravity.

“Further going against nature to remain unmarried, I travel the country in a kind of ‘sex caravan’ full of dildos and black magic equipment.

“I go to local pubs in a tight dress and entice men, like the succubus that I am. Any husband who sees me is driven half-mad with desire.

“I sexually exhaust them then cast them aside – of course they are not to blame because they are helpless before my Satanic sex powers. As the Mail knows, all true evil emanates from women.”

Bradford is now furious that her destructive lifestyle has been revealed to millions of Mail readers: “I have put a curse on the journalists responsible. No crops will grow on their land, and the teats of their cattle shall run dry.”