Coca-Cola admits 'natural flavors' include a severed head

DRINKS maker Coca-Cola has admitted using severed human heads to add a touch of piquancy.

After withdrawing a flame retardant from some of its products, the corporation also revealed the horrifying nature of the enigmatic ‘natural flavors’ mentioned on its cans.

A spokesman said: “We drop a man’s head into the distillation vats, that’s where coke gets its unique spicy flavour from.

“We fish the severed head out at the end, as if it were a cinnamon stick.

“It depends what’s lying around the factory really, the basic principle is to just lob anything in and then sweeten the living shit out of it.”

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No way tobacco product might turn out to be harmful

‘HARMLESS’ tobacco products are never revealed to be bad for users, according to electronic cigarette makers.

Roy Hobbs, CEO of Vape-master said: “If you look back at history, there is no precedent of a similar product being considered initially harmless – and even widely advertised as having health benefits – until people started dying.

“At least, not that I can think of.

“Nothing could be more natural that deeply inhaling large volumes of heavy, chemical-infused mist on a daily basis.

“It’s what lungs were made for.”