Couple rush to sales to see how much they overpaid for each other's presents

A COUPLE are spending the day at the sales to see how much they overpaid for the gifts they received two days ago. 

Charlotte Phelps and Jack Brown cannot wait to find out how capitalism, and its rigid insistence that all spending be confined to a specific pre-determined period, has f**ked them right over this year.

Charlotte said: “I got Jack a parka from TK Maxx that I thought was a real find for £120, and there are racks of them for £35! Wow! They’re really flooding the market!

“The aftershave I bought him is only £8 cheaper, nothing really, but my perfume’s a full £23 cheaper because he went for the fancy gift set with the body lotion I’ll never use.

“Best of all, the smart TV we bought each other? Down from £529 to £379! Wow, we really lost some cash on that one. It’s not even out of the box yet but we can’t return it because it was on sale.”

Jack said: “We rushed out first thing this morning to discover how badly a festival which advertises itself as being all about family and togetherness and sharing had gouged us all, and we weren’t disappointed.

“Really we should get all our presents for next year in these amazing sales! But we can’t, because we’re not twats.”

Sign up now to get
The Daily Mash
free Headlines email – every weekday

The Daily Mash Quiz of 2022, the year the Tories f**ked it