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Cold water swimmers, and other twats that get on the Christmas news every year

WITHOUT any news to report because everyone is at home gorging on ham and Baileys, these overactive pricks leap at their chance to make the BBC bulletin: 

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Tiny jigsaw, spinning top, whistle: crap cracker toys ranked in order of crapness

FROM underwhelming bangs to flimsy crowns, crackers are toss. But worst of all is the failed promise of the toys, in order:

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