POWER giant E.On has been fined £12m for mis-selling energy as pet cats, dogs and fish.
Representatives for E.On used pressure selling techniques to convince vulnerable customers that 400 cubic feet of natural gas would be lovely to talk to and wouldnt answer back like your grandchildren.
Retired greengrocer Norman Steele was sold 220,000 coulombs of electricity in the belief that it was a charming King Charles spaniel called Hector.
He said: Id stroke him while we watched Countdown, give him little treats which hed char to ash and tell him he was a good boy when he arced between conductive materials in the park.
Yes, occasionally hed give me a nip and attack other dogs by making them convulse until their eyes popped out, but he was very dear to me and Im disgusted that I was tricked.
A spokesman for E.On said: Energy is fundamental to the workings of the universe, impossible to create or destroy, so whos to say it doesnt make a loyal companion on cold winter nights?
Why go through the pain of losing a pet when uranium has a half-life of billions of years and never has to make that heartbreaking journey to the vets to be put down?
Also it’s ideal for kids to play with.